drwex: (Troll)
[personal profile] drwex
So much has happened since last update it's not even vaguely possible to try journaling it.

Kids are both started on their camp journeys for the summer. There was much last-minute flurrying almost entirely on Pygment's part to get them All The Things and get them packed. My role was mostly flogging them through chores and trying to keep them on task when she wasn't looking. Yay teenagers.

Unfortunately for our planning, it turns out that Thing 1 actually has to come home between sessions of camp. That mostly means showing up on a Friday and then disappearing the following Sunday, with copious amounts of laundry being done in between. I expect lots of heavy sleeping, too, even though the doc has said that Thing 1 needs to be sleeping less and exercising more (along with consuming less sugar).

We are going to continue to try our weekend getaway, and assume that Thing 1 can (at age 17) manage to be by themselves in a house that is well-stocked over a 36-hour period with no disasters occurring. They have a functional bicycle and many things in range, plus various adults that can be called in emergencies. Both Thing 2 and dog Holly will be out of the house so Thing 1 won't be responsible for anything but themselves. We'll see.

Thing 1 is slowly learning to drive but won't have a license in the foreseeable future. More time behind the wheel and more lessons are needed. That might happen before the end of summer but I'm not expecting it. We haven't seen their report card but expect the usual mix of reasonable grades. Next year Thing 1 will be taking somewhat more difficult courses and we've discussed getting them additional academic help for this. Overall the elder is in a good place but needs to find more ways to break out of the bubble and live fully in life. It's a complaint I've had often and their level of passivity right now isn't helping a number of things.

The younger... I wish I could say more good things about. We barely squeaked out of this academic year with a slate of Ds. We've been despairing about an upcoming train wreck next year but we might have a way out of it. Via friends and chance we've discovered a new place that might be the kind of tribe/home Thing 2 needs. It's definitely a non-traditional school, and it's going to require Pygment to put a lot more time and miles into things. And it'll cost. But they say they send 100% of their kids on to college. And they're willing to make Thing 2 repeat 8th grade if that's what it takes to get them up to par and develop emotionally. We originally were thinking about a residential option, but that's not available so it's going to be a drive/carpool solution of some kind.

We've come to realize that a chunk of the issues revolve around Thing 2 still having approximately a 10-year-old's emotional maturity. It's easy to be fooled because of their physical and intellectual/verbal development, but if you look purely at it from an emotional point of view, this is a child who wants what they want, who takes without thinking of the effect it will have, and whose behavior remains fixed even in the face of obvious negative consequences. We're still working on morphing their support team to help us deal with this reality and figure out how to make it through.

If Thing 2 does thrive in this school it will lend impetus to us moving north a bit more, if only to ease up on Pygment's driving needs. It's also clear that her car is not going to be up to this task for four years. We've been trying to manage things so we only have one car payment at a time, but realistically she needs a better vehicle and sooner rather than later. And then there's college expenses... First world problems, to be sure, but if you know me at all you know that money stresses me out more than anything else.

So that's my kids - how about yours?

Date: 2017-06-28 09:11 pm (UTC)
corylea: A woman gazing at the sky (Default)
From: [personal profile] corylea
*pebble* *hug*

Best of luck dealing with a difficult situation.

Date: 2017-06-28 10:25 pm (UTC)
redbird: closeup of me drinking tea (Default)
From: [personal profile] redbird
I don't much like the phrase "first world problems" anyhow, but money issues are often a big deal in a capitalist society, and "other people have it worse" doesn't mean that your concerns are trivial: not if the question is "how can we pay for our children's education?"

Date: 2017-06-29 05:49 am (UTC)
ckd: two white candles on a dark background (candles)
From: [personal profile] ckd

On phrasing, I have tried to replace that phrase with "privileged person problems" for the alliteration and to remove the whole first/second/third world framework from the discussion.

On content, money problems are still problems; a reasonable definition of "rich" that I've heard is "able to absorb a significant unexpected financial hit without pain". College is not really an unexpected hit, but an earlier-than-expected car replacement sure is.

Date: 2017-06-30 04:26 am (UTC)
dianec42: Photo looking up at a sequoia tree (Sequoia)
From: [personal profile] dianec42
*Hugs*. I just want to say you are both amazing parents, and I am in awe of how skilled and observant you are with them.

Date: 2017-06-30 03:54 pm (UTC)
mizarchivist: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mizarchivist
I'm looking forward to hearing more about Thing 2's school situation when the time is right.

Date: 2017-06-30 06:40 pm (UTC)
mizarchivist: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mizarchivist
I like ice cream.


drwex: (Default)

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