Very sympathetic to the FB thing. I was just made aware of a private support group for parents of trans kids but it's on FB so nope.

On the third one... for me it's different because part of the methodical building is that I can see myself getting closer to (or farther from) an answer. The sudden "Oh!" is like I jumped from A to Q and if there were steps in between - which I assume there had to be - they aren't consciously accessible.