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I must speak about my child
Pygment calls Thing 2 her "little physicist" because he's always trying to find the boundaries of his universe, and then see if he can go past them. For example, we have a rule that when they get candy for dessert it's two pieces. EVERY SINGLE TIME, Thing 2 brings us 3 pieces that he wants, with some argument as to why, this time, three is OK. Not once, not occasionally, but Every. Single. Time. One day we're going to give in and let him have just one jellybean with his other two pieces and he is going to explode from sheer triumph.
This Sunday he comes to me and says, "Daddy, can I borrow your boken?"
Me: "What do you want that for?"
Him: "We're playing a game."
Me: "I cannot think of a single indoor game for which giving you a boken would be a good idea."
Him: "I'm not going to hit anyone with it."
Me: "Oh?"
Him: "I just want it for a staff so I can cast spells."
Me: "No."
There ensues the usual back-and-forth, during which he is reminded that he has a magic wand (insufficient), and in which he is offered a piece of foam tube (rejected as too small). No, he simply must have a staff.
Me: "No."
He walks away dejected. About 2 minutes later I see him heading upstairs with a 5' long iron rod...
Me: "Where did you get that?"
Him: "The garage."
Me: "What makes you think that an iron rod is an improvement on a hard wood stick?"
Him (dejected): "So I can't use it?"
Me: "No!"
He goes off to put the iron pole back in the garage. In less than two minutes, he's back... with a bamboo staff I've forgotten we had.
Me: Opens mouth to say something...
Him, very fast: "It's softer, see? Bamboo! And hollow! Can I use it, please?"
Me, laughing: "Yes, but please don't hit anything with it."
Pygment, as I said, is convinced he's going to be a physicist. I'm betting on lawyer, myself.
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About half an hour later, she called into the house "Dad! He landed on his back this time!"
The general consensus was she was going to grow up to do physics.
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(Child enters with four pieces.)
"If you come through that door carrying three or more pieces of candy in your hand, you don't get any."
(Child enters with two-and-a-half pieces.)
"If you come through that door carrying more than two pieces of candy in your hand, you don't get any."
(Child enters carring two pieces in one hand, one in the other.)
"If you come through that door carrying more than two pieces of candy total, anywhere, you don't get any."
(Child pushes three pieces of candy into the room, along the floor.)
(Parent whimpers, dies.)
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I'm reminded of the man who once said to me, "I was already obnoxious, so I figured I might as well put that to a socially valuable use, by becoming a lawyer." :-)
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And, I know that comparing the behavior of children and animals is frought with peril, but my god did this remind me of I Has a Sweet Potato (http://littera-abactor.livejournal.com/7748.html).
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- E
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