Your comment highlights a problem with extended discussions such as these. If I repeat a bunch of things each time I comment that's great for new people, and boring for everyone who's been reading along. For example:
When you talk to shadesong about how she "should realize how that narrative affects people", is that not you proscribing how she should express her anger about her rape and abuse?
In a word, no. I was talking about her narrative of the events around the BoS party. I'd have to back up and explain everything from the start to fill in that picture completely.
Maybe she does get a free pass. Yes, sometimes the victim's reactions will make the surrounding social situation harder to resolve, but that's just the way things are, and the surrounding social group needs to cope with that and make every effort to support the outlet she has made for herself.
That's one view, and you're certainly not alone in expressing it. Then there's another view that says, "You come to my house, drink my booze, eat my food, and then lecture me on how badly behaved I am." Which of us is rude in that situation? Which of us should cope with what?
No one (to my knowledge) has denied Song's speech in her fora (LJ and othewise) or in public spaces such as conventions. The question revolves around an incident at a private residence and one of the points I am pretty sure Song and I agree on is that we want the rules of these private spaces known in advance so we can make informed decisions about whether to be there.
Overall, I think your (drwex 's) influence on the discussion has been very positive, and I am hopeful that you will all find a positive way through and be stronger for the experience.
Thank you. I appreciate your taking the time to stop by and share your views.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2014-07-13 01:48 am (UTC)When you talk to shadesong about how she "should realize how that narrative affects people", is that not you proscribing how she should express her anger about her rape and abuse?
In a word, no. I was talking about her narrative of the events around the BoS party. I'd have to back up and explain everything from the start to fill in that picture completely.
Maybe she does get a free pass. Yes, sometimes the victim's reactions will make the surrounding social situation harder to resolve, but that's just the way things are, and the surrounding social group needs to cope with that and make every effort to support the outlet she has made for herself.
That's one view, and you're certainly not alone in expressing it. Then there's another view that says, "You come to my house, drink my booze, eat my food, and then lecture me on how badly behaved I am." Which of us is rude in that situation? Which of us should cope with what?
No one (to my knowledge) has denied Song's speech in her fora (LJ and othewise) or in public spaces such as conventions. The question revolves around an incident at a private residence and one of the points I am pretty sure Song and I agree on is that we want the rules of these private spaces known in advance so we can make informed decisions about whether to be there.
Overall, I think your (drwex 's) influence on the discussion has been very positive, and I am hopeful that you will all find a positive way through and be stronger for the experience.
Thank you. I appreciate your taking the time to stop by and share your views.