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So that was a hell of a 48 hours
I am pretty drained after a couple days of emotional output. Everyone is OK, nothing is terrible. Details below the cut...
Thursday night there was a knock on the bedroom door. As usual, Pygment is a much lighter sleeper than I. She gets up and deals and I go back to sleep. This is normal.
I wake up usual time Friday morning and she's not back in bed. This is also not unusual. I snore sometimes and sometimes she can't sleep through it or sometimes she's had to go downstairs for something and it's easier to just go back to sleep on the sofa than back upstairs and into bed. However, she's not downstairs either. That's not normal.
I discover a message that she's had to take Thing 1 to the ER, which is very busy and they're waiting. I text back and forth through the morning and all the delays. Eventually, Thing 1 is diagnosed with appendicitis and surgery is recommended. Her condition is not so bad, so the surgery itself is pretty quick, and after a few hours' recovery she's expected back home.
Pygment eventually makes it back home to nap herself - turns out the knock on the door was 5:30 AM and she's not totally wiped but still underslept. Eventually she goes back and helps Thing 1 get home.
Meanwhile, we get news from the lawyer that Arisia has lost the second arbitration and now faces an even larger penalty. It's not unexpected news, but it's still a big emotional blow. We're looking at the potential end of a 30-year relationship. As complex and troubled as it has been, it's still my home convention and represents a big chunk of my and my family's life. Fortunately, I'm at home so I can go outside and have sunshine and dog-play time. That helps, some.
Thing 1 does make it back home and promptly passes out on the couch, where she'll spend most of the next couple days. Pygment tells me that she's a worse hospital patient than I am. Like parent like child, I guess.
The next day we go to my aunt's memorial. You may recall I wrote about her passing (https://drwex.dreamwidth.org/1015231.html). After a lot of waffling I decided more or less on the drive to the church that I'd say something largely out of that posting. The service was very church-y. I get that was important to my Aunt but it was tension-making for me. No one was offensive, no one pushed religion at us, but it was definitely a religious service that was Not My Religion and being told repeatedly about how Jesus was welcoming my aunt into some imaginary other Heaven was not what I wanted. I think it helped my uncle, and that's what was important. Pygment and I sat in the first pew with him.
Most of the (small) family were there, as well as some of her family who came from as far as California. It was nice to see people, and we managed to have dinner with my brother and SiL. That said, I kind of brought up the topic of my mother, which led to a question that I answered pretty frankly, in my father's presence. That was hella awkward, of the "here, let me point out this giant unpleasant elephant in the room that we have kind of silently agreed none of us will mention." Oops? Regardless, it's still consuming a chunk of my mental energy.
Sunday I did basically nothing - my brain just rejected trying to handle anything. We did make it briefly to the housewarming/birthday party for my datefriend, but punted everything else social.
I'm still emotionally tired and my dreaming has been super-active.
Thursday night there was a knock on the bedroom door. As usual, Pygment is a much lighter sleeper than I. She gets up and deals and I go back to sleep. This is normal.
I wake up usual time Friday morning and she's not back in bed. This is also not unusual. I snore sometimes and sometimes she can't sleep through it or sometimes she's had to go downstairs for something and it's easier to just go back to sleep on the sofa than back upstairs and into bed. However, she's not downstairs either. That's not normal.
I discover a message that she's had to take Thing 1 to the ER, which is very busy and they're waiting. I text back and forth through the morning and all the delays. Eventually, Thing 1 is diagnosed with appendicitis and surgery is recommended. Her condition is not so bad, so the surgery itself is pretty quick, and after a few hours' recovery she's expected back home.
Pygment eventually makes it back home to nap herself - turns out the knock on the door was 5:30 AM and she's not totally wiped but still underslept. Eventually she goes back and helps Thing 1 get home.
Meanwhile, we get news from the lawyer that Arisia has lost the second arbitration and now faces an even larger penalty. It's not unexpected news, but it's still a big emotional blow. We're looking at the potential end of a 30-year relationship. As complex and troubled as it has been, it's still my home convention and represents a big chunk of my and my family's life. Fortunately, I'm at home so I can go outside and have sunshine and dog-play time. That helps, some.
Thing 1 does make it back home and promptly passes out on the couch, where she'll spend most of the next couple days. Pygment tells me that she's a worse hospital patient than I am. Like parent like child, I guess.
The next day we go to my aunt's memorial. You may recall I wrote about her passing (https://drwex.dreamwidth.org/1015231.html). After a lot of waffling I decided more or less on the drive to the church that I'd say something largely out of that posting. The service was very church-y. I get that was important to my Aunt but it was tension-making for me. No one was offensive, no one pushed religion at us, but it was definitely a religious service that was Not My Religion and being told repeatedly about how Jesus was welcoming my aunt into some imaginary other Heaven was not what I wanted. I think it helped my uncle, and that's what was important. Pygment and I sat in the first pew with him.
Most of the (small) family were there, as well as some of her family who came from as far as California. It was nice to see people, and we managed to have dinner with my brother and SiL. That said, I kind of brought up the topic of my mother, which led to a question that I answered pretty frankly, in my father's presence. That was hella awkward, of the "here, let me point out this giant unpleasant elephant in the room that we have kind of silently agreed none of us will mention." Oops? Regardless, it's still consuming a chunk of my mental energy.
Sunday I did basically nothing - my brain just rejected trying to handle anything. We did make it briefly to the housewarming/birthday party for my datefriend, but punted everything else social.
I'm still emotionally tired and my dreaming has been super-active.
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I'm sorry the memorial didn't give you what you needed and that you had the mom-bomb set off.
I hope not having to do anything Sunday helped some.
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Doing nothing Sunday was wise.
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Guilty as charged.
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I mentioned to pygment that you might be into the Machineries of Empire series by Yoon Ha Lee. Spaceships? Yep! Also, Lee's writing reminds me a bit of Ted Chiang's (author of Stories Of Your Life collection of short stories). First book in the series is Ninefox Gambit.
Here's hoping that Sunday was a gentle landing from rest of this, and that Thing1 has a speedy recovery. Or maybe more like the beginning of a gentle landing?
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When my grandmother died, her funeral mentioned Jesus a zillion times and my grandmother hardly at all. I sat there fuming, furious that my grandmother was being erased from her own funeral. When the minister finally wound down, he asked if anyone would like to say a few words about my grandmother. My mother and my aunt -- my grandmother's children -- hadn't planned to give a eulogy or to have anyone else give one, but I couldn't stand having my grandmother not represented at her own funeral. As soon as the minister said that, I stood up. I didn't know what I intended to say and didn't have any actual plan; I just knew that I had to talk about my actual grandmother and not religious platitudes about a fictitious god.
Somehow, words came to me, and I summed up my grandmother's character in ways I'd never even thought before. I guess the pressure turned out to be inspiring or something. :-) Afterwards, several of my grandmother's sisters came up and told me they thought they understood her better than ever before, due to the way I'd explained who she was to all of us.
My mother said that several people told her that I must have worked on that eulogy for a long time; she didn't tell them that it was completely extemporaneous. :-)
All of which is to say that I SO identify with attending a funeral that just feels All Wrong.
Hope Thing 1 will be better soon!
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I'm glad you had a chance to do not a lot on Sunday to attempt to recover.
(and soon- haircuts & margaritas - yay!)
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