Condolences - what to say and how

[drwex]

http://www.connect.legacy.com/inspire/page/show?id=1984035%3APage%3A23335

An elderly relative of mine died recently and my father sent me a link to this. I wish I'd had this a year ago.

The site has commercial purpose - they're trying to sell you the authors' books and various other services, but the raw info is quite useful.

ETA: davidfcooper pointed in comments to this site: http://www.jewcy.com/religion-and-beliefs/how_make_shiva_call which is nominally about how Jews handle Shiva, the period of mourning and customs right after a death. Some of it is Jew-specific but their first and last point bears repeating: "it's not about you".

Comments

[mizarchivist]

Indeed. This is something they just don't teach to the average bear. Some of it seems painfully obvious, but sometimes saying the obvious is reassuring. I've bookmarked it.

Indeed

[drwex]

My father's comment was that it was "a shame" they had to put up pages like this, to which I replied that nobody ever taught me these things growing up. I noticed that some of the things on the site were written by folks who do hospice care so I'm guessing they have a pretty broad sample of folk who are just at a loss in these situation.

[davidfcooper.livejournal.com]

In a similar vein: How to make a shiva call according to Jewcy (http://www.jewcy.com/religion-and-beliefs/how_make_shiva_call) and My Jewish Learning (http://www.myjewishlearning.com/life/Life_Events/Death_and_Mourning/Burial_and_Mourning/Shiva/How_to_Make_a_Shiva_Call.shtml).

Ooh, thank you

[drwex]

That's very useful. I'll amend the post to include it.

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

I wanted to let you know that I've bookmarked the link. Thanks for this. ;-)