1) Thank you for writing this. You seem to have a useful framing of the situation.
2) I see a third group, which potentially seems to fall more on 'Song's side of things, but many of the third group say they have little/no personal knowledge of 'Song. That third group being: "I am responding emotionally to finding out that a space I thought was safe, and I thought was somewhere threats would be handled appropriately, is not somewhere that is safe *for me* and where threats *to me* will be handled in a way that makes *me feel safe*."
I have to say that, despite my ongoing friendship and support of 'Song, I fall more strongly into that group than I do into a "'Song v. Scott" narrative. I have never been to one of these parties because I don't know the hosts well - I've met them at a couple cons, and I think I gave them my email, but I don't know them well. These are large parties, and I know my limits in social situations, and I don't trust large gatherings. At a con, I have (in theory) a way to report, and a process that will (again, in theory) protect me. I don't have that at a private party, especially as someone the hosts *don't* know well. What I've gotten from Scott's responses is that the hosts will side with people they like over people they are less familiar with. I agree with you that the rule of "don't piss off the hosts" is the salient one for Scott and Rachel, and that is not one that I personally feel safe attending their parties under.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2014-07-11 04:11 am (UTC)2) I see a third group, which potentially seems to fall more on 'Song's side of things, but many of the third group say they have little/no personal knowledge of 'Song. That third group being:
"I am responding emotionally to finding out that a space I thought was safe, and I thought was somewhere threats would be handled appropriately, is not somewhere that is safe *for me* and where threats *to me* will be handled in a way that makes *me feel safe*."
I have to say that, despite my ongoing friendship and support of 'Song, I fall more strongly into that group than I do into a "'Song v. Scott" narrative. I have never been to one of these parties because I don't know the hosts well - I've met them at a couple cons, and I think I gave them my email, but I don't know them well. These are large parties, and I know my limits in social situations, and I don't trust large gatherings. At a con, I have (in theory) a way to report, and a process that will (again, in theory) protect me. I don't have that at a private party, especially as someone the hosts *don't* know well. What I've gotten from Scott's responses is that the hosts will side with people they like over people they are less familiar with. I agree with you that the rule of "don't piss off the hosts" is the salient one for Scott and Rachel, and that is not one that I personally feel safe attending their parties under.