The opposite of compassion is fear

[drwex]

I like to do much of my charitable giving in the week between Christmas and New Year's. Tax deadlines certainly play a role, as does my reluctance to open the ever-growing bombard of holiday appeals until I'm actually past Christmas. So I've been thinking about where I want to donate and whether my money will do good.

Compassion - thoughtful caring for the suffering of others combined with a desire to see that suffering end - is opposed by fear. I have lots of fears.

I fear that people will see my compassion as "emotionalism" and not as a thoughtful process, dismissing it. I fear that if I am compassionate others - certainly including my children - may become (too) dependent on that compassion and lose drive to do things for themselves. I fear that compassion will be interpreted as weakness and lead others to devalue me. I fear that compassion will be seen as an opportunity for others to take advantage of me. I fear that others will see my compassion and infer a hidden agenda; they will think I am dishonest.

I'm working on it. Part of working on it is writing it out, because sometimes I know a thing but having to form it into real sentences makes my knowing clearer.

Comments

[dpolicar]

(nods)
When the "others may become too dependent on my compassion and lose drive" feeling becomes too strong, I try to counter it with "others may learn from my example and be moved to do things for others."

[intuition-ist.livejournal.com]

IMO, it is virtually impossible to be too compassionate. Like competence, there isn't nearly enough of it in the world.

The regard of people who see compassion as weakness (or concealing a hidden agenda) is not worth having.

As an intelligent adult, you probably have a good sense of when someone might try to take advantage of you, and so you are protected against that.

Compassion and courage have a lot in common.