The fight for diverse and conscious voices

I struggle in these situations nearly as much as you've described. One thing I make a point of doing in the miraculous 10% of events in which I'm *not* struggling, is to keep an eye out for someone standing on the edge of things who has appeared to be interested but not really able to break into the conversation and try to draw them in a bit. I've been terribly grateful when someone has done that for me, and I try to pay it forward when I'm blessed enough to have people I know to talk to and social spoons to share.