Happy New Year

[drwex]

As noted, I actually went to synagogue this year. Many years I've not religiously observed the holiday at all. Pygment and Thing 2 found a synagogue they liked and go to hear Torah and shofar. This year I went along and it was nice (except for the ongoing allergy attacks; we are the household of sneezes and watery eyes).

The rabbi's sermon was interesting; she took on the idea of "random kindness" and urged people to make kindness less random and more a regular part of everyday life. Worthwhile to think about. It's interesting to see a connection drawn between "walking in G-d's path" and enacting values in our everyday lives.

Listening to her I thought about how the notions of kindness and civility have been weaponized against marginalized people and had this thought-stream. It's not "civility" per se that's the problem. It's that the complaint of lack of civility is used by those in power to demand performance from those with less power. I am reminded that slave owners demanded that their slaves be civil and yet felt no need to behave with compassion toward these other humans. If we stop demanding things of others, and instead focus on our own actions, then civility can return to a more reasonable place. If I behave in a civil manner, speak civilly toward others, then that is its own value. The idea of "random kindness" is that it's given without expectation of return. We are kind, compassionate, or civil as we enact our values. These are not things we demand of others.

I know I could stand to be more compassionate, more civil. I'm... working on it.

As always at this time of year, I ask that if I have harmed or offended you please tell me about it and if I may apologize or make amends I wish to know that as well.

May you have a good, sweet year, and also a just and inspiring year.

Comments

[mzrowan]

For watery/itchy allergy eyes, I highly recommend ketotifen fumarate eye drops (OTC, available at CVS, etc). They're like Flonase for your eyes – antihistamine delivered right to the source of the trouble.

[drwex]

Thanks, yes, I have those. I just didn't think to bring them to shul. Pygment later pointed out (duh on me) that I was wearing a jacket that had sat in the closet for some time and thus was likely dusty.

[redbird]

Happy new year.

I like the reminder that kindness, or other virtues we want to practice, should be a regular part of our lives. Then the random bits might be the cherry on top. (I figure the reward of being kind or helpful to strangers is that the world is a slightly better place, and maybe the stranger will in turn be helpful to someone else, and so on. For these small things, the people mostly couldn't reciprocate if they wanted to, because we've gone our separate ways, in a huge city (or even a small one).

[drwex]

Thank you.

[corylea]

May you (and all your family) have a lovely year.

[drwex]

Thank you, and you as well.

May I quote you?

[dcltdw]

It's not my faith, it's not my practice, but these past few years, I've been struck with my observing Jewish friends posting sentiments like yours:

[...] I ask that if I have harmed or offended you please tell me about it and if I may apologize or make amends I wish to know that as well.

It's something that I think I would do well to cherrypick as behavior to emulate, but it only seems proper to ask for permission in advance to quote you. No worries if you'd prefer not, of course.

[drwex]

Quoting me is fine. I appreciate the consideration.

More and more these days I'm comfortable with the idea that I can live my life as an ethical Jew, even if not a religious one. The holiday calendar provides a good reminder and a rhythm for some of these practices that I hope to embody more year 'round.

So, if you feel this ethic fits in with your beliefs I am happy to encourage your practice, too. I understand there's a lot of appropriation of religious ceremonies and symbols by non-Jews, which I find problematic, but I feel as an ethical practice this is in a different category.