I am turning into my father

[drwex]

...not that this is a bad thing. It just is.

The scene: I have dropped off my children at the YMCA camp. The younger kids at this camp have a chain-link fence around their play area. Since it's near a driveway there's a lot of sense to constraining the pack of hyperactive five-and-unders in this way.

The action: As I walk down said driveway I notice that one of the youngsters has effected an escape and is now playing some kind of tag-teasing game with his friend who is still inside. The two boys give me the look that I have come to identify on males of that age as "I realize this adult has Noticed we are doing Something Bad and I am now about to be In Trouble."

Me, carefully surveying the situation: "Hmm, I think one of you is on the wrong side of this fence."
Them: stare goggle-eyed at the weird adult.
Me: "But I can't tell which one it is. Can you tell me?"
Them: cautiously point at the boy on the outside.
Me: "Ah, then we know which one of you should go to the other side! Can you do that?"
Boy on the outside: careful nod, scamper off to get back in the pen.

I continue walking to my car, realizing that this is more or less precisely what my father would have done. And, I think, his father before him.

Comments

[halleyscomet.livejournal.com]

Rectifying a dangerous situation while teaching the kid a lesson.

I think that qualifies as a good call.

[drwex]

If only it was that simple to teach them lessons...

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you had a really cool dad.

I'm turning into myu grandmother, and while she was an amazing lady in her own right, I don't want to be her.

[drwex]

He is, in his way. Thanks.

Why don't you want to be your grandma?

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Once we moved from NY, anytime we'd visit, she and my father would have a fight at some point in the visit. She was incredibly capable, survived an alcoholic husband at a time when divorce wasn't really a viable option for her, worked so my father could go to the high school and university that he wanted, and then kept working so she'd have something to do.

She survived two husbands.
She was cheerful to anyone who wasn't family, and a fabulous hostess. However, if you were family, you heard all about every slight she ever received, over and over again.

She worried about everything, and had a quick, but short temper.

I want to be better to my family than that. I don't want my son to grow up expecting a fight every time he visits because I may not agree with his choices. (Of course, I think in this regard, I'm a lot more tolerant than my grandmother was).

[donnad.livejournal.com]

And you probably just earned a tremendous amount of respect from that young man.

[drwex]

*chuckle* Somehow I doubt it. These are four-year-old boys we're talking of. But thank you.

[donnad.livejournal.com]

Ah, but that little boy will remember you as the adult who didn't yell at him or turn him in to the camp leaders for doing something wrong but rather treated him in a "grown-up" manner.

[unseelie.livejournal.com]

i wish i had a dad near that cool.
well done!

[drwex]

Thanks.

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

My parents would have done something WAY more heavy-handed about that situation -- I think you (or maybe your dad, from whom you learned this :-) ) deserves a lot of respect for handling the situation with such a light touch.

*applauds*

[drwex]

Thanks, I guess. The funny part is that it wasn't pre-calculated. It just... seemed like the thing to do.

[queenvicki.livejournal.com]

Very calmly done. Of course if it were one of your kids, it may have played out differently *smile*. My question is, where was the counselor?!

[(Anonymous)]

True, that. I do tend to be both weirder and more direct with my kids.

The counselors were around and just hadn't noticed the escapee yet.

[drwex]

Oops, that were me.

[formlesspassion.livejournal.com]

I like the lack of shame in your scenario. You offered the solution as a challenge, and he proved to you that he could solve his own "mistake." I'm going to remember this strategy. Thanks!

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

That is such a great story. What a useful ability to be able to identify The Look, too. :)