On marriage, gay and poly, and politics

I thought I'd written this up before but I can't find it and there's been a flurry of commentary in the media (see this blogspot post for a recent round-up) so I feel motivated to do some wonkery.

Because this is an unlocked post with possibly contentious content I'm going to be heavy-handed in moderating comments. Be on-topic and be polite or be banned.
( I realize not everyone is into this stuff )

Conversation, chez nous

I have returned from having (YET ANOTHER, sheesh) tire replaced on the car. I explain to the children: "I have a contradiction!"
"What is that?" they ask.
Me: My car is working again, but it has been re-tired.

Thing 1 groans loudly at me. I protest - what was wrong with that?
Thing 1: C'mon, dad, that pun was groan-worthy.
Me: Oh, so it's an adult?
Thing 1: What?
Me: It's groan up!

He bopped me on the head with the plastic lid, then went to tell his brother about it.