Journaling project, Day 19

Even when it seems personal, rarely do people do things because of you, they do things because of them. You know this is true. You may not be able control all the things people say and do to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them. Make that decision for yourself today.

What’s something you often take too personally even though, logically, you know better? How does consciously removing this burden from your mind in this moment feel?

Another "sigh" for the neuronormative language. Some people simply cannot "choose" not to be affected by negative comments. Also again, this prompt seems to assumes that people have some magical ability to tell when things really are about other people versus them. Like, if someone's doing something aggressive toward me is that because of them - they're choosing an aggressive approach because of what's going on in their head? Or is it because of me - I came across to them as aggressive first and they now believe this is the correct way to respond?

I do agree that people take a lot of things too personally. I work in a field where critique, feedback, and iteration are a normal part of the process (or should be). Critique is hard, and lots of people do it badly and lots of people take it badly no matter what. Doing a good design critique is an art and it requires people practice. There's further work and practice in figuring out how to learn from a critique. And certainly the effort of separating the self from the product is part of that.

It's hard when people tell you that your baby is ugly, but it's also necessary to realize that this isn't about you. The more effort you've put into that baby the harder the hit can be. Some creative types I know live by the "kill your darlings" motto - if you think something is too clever or too precious or too perfect it's better to "kill" it before becoming too attached to it. I fall into these pits myself - I think I'm clever and my answers are very often right. I get attached to having the right answer and when the answer is wrong (or other people aren't convinced it's right) I can take it too personally.

But mostly I just wait for them to figure it out and try not to gloat too much or too obviously once they do.

We saw Ant Man and the Wasp and I should review it before it vanishes

This is an utterly forgettable bit of fluff that I think Marvel made because they needed something for the kids and to lighten up the DOOMLY DOOM of Avengers. I've seen lots of speculation online that this movie contains clues or keys for Infinity War 2 but I just don't care. (2.5/5 stars unless you really like schlocky kids adventure flicks)

This movie returns all the cast members from the first movie doing the same things as they did last time. It features flying giant Pez dispensers, giant ants, Hot Wheels cars, using a flatbed truck as a scooter, and a general lack of concern for anything. Newcomers Hannah John-Kamen (Ghost), Michelle Pfeiffer (Janet Van Dyne), and Laurence Fishburne (Dr Bill Foster) are OK if unexceptional.

The movie doesn't do anything particularly badly, nor anything particularly well. Every single character is comedic relief but when there's no tension or drama or suspense it's not clear what you need relief from. So you get two hours of schtick, of which Michael Peña's fast-talking storytelling is probably the best, closely followed by Paul Rudd and Evangeline Lilly's snarky banter that in any other movie would be verbal foreplay.

Some of the best bits are in the production/SFX, including how they subtly changed the top part of Wasp's mask so you get more of her facial expression, and the level of detail in the miniature action scenes (running along the blade of a knife flying through the air, surf/skidding on spilled table salt. The fight scenes with the not-actually-here Ghost ought to get a technical award - they're excellent. That I spent my time noticing this kind of thing tells you how engaging the story was.

Also, the post-credits scene is totally Marvel trolling us, which just made me sigh annoyedly.