Journaling project, Day 24

You will never find your worth in another human being—you find it in yourself, and then you will attract those who are worthy of your energy. Realize this. Accept and acknowledge your own worth. Stop waiting for others to tell you how important you are. Tell yourself. And believe it.

What’s one little thing that makes you worthy in your own eyes right now?

Well, yeah. I'm 90% onboard with this, except for the "attract" part. There are lots of good, wonderful, "worthy" (whatever that means in an interpersonal relationship sense) people out there who can't find a partner or are treated badly by their partners. Being partnered the way one wants, with the people one wants, is a whole lot more complicated than just finding your self-worth. Necessary, but not sufficient.

That out of the way, I've always known that my self-worth came from within. I'm as susceptible to flattery and as interested in validation from others as the next person. But having been raised in an environment where I didn't get positive reinforcement from those closest to me I always knew I'd have to pull myself up. I'm fond of the alphorism "No matter who you go to bed with, you have to wake up with yourself."

I've also realized I'm never going to be "important". That was a hard one, particularly after being around the Lab people. Periodically I get mail from LinkedIn or alumni news with various of my past associates being in the news for doing this or that important thing. I'm not on those things, and likely never will be. I'm mostly OK with that - comparing myself to them is just bad for my mental health. Reunion events are sometimes hard, but mostly I live my life and enjoy myself day to day.

Things that make me "worthy"? Hard to say. I value my honesty, my authenticity. Internal things.