We saw PotC 2 and it was OK
Jul. 10th, 2006 11:00 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drwexBut just "OK." I wasn't as impressed or amused as I was by the first Pirates movie and therein lies the problem.
The movie could really have stood to be 45 minutes shorter. Too much stuff was just drawn out and out and on and on. The entire bit with the cannibals and the extensive chase things could have been cut without losing a single bit of importance.
The writers (IMDB lists four, never a good sign) and director (Verbinski) seem to have completely forgotten how funny and charming the first movie was. This one had a couple of chuckles but the only real laugh-out-loud bit in the movie came as part of the "make a lot of fun of dark-skinned island people" thing, which made me more than a little uncomfortable.
The special effects were generally quite good, particularly the Flying Dutchman's crew. On the other hand, the Kraken scenes really suffered from some very bad bluescreening in a couple places, especially the close-ups. The animation house (ILM, I believe) seems to have gotten tired of doing "yet another person gets snatched off the deck by a tentacled arm" scenes because some of the bodies being carried through the air are Just Wrong in the long shots. Another case where removing shots would've improved the film by preserving the freshness of these scenes.
Finally, the script just had so many STUPID bits I wanted to punch the writers.
Show of hands first: how many of you believe that Elizabeth Swann (Kiera Knightley's character) can swordfight like a master, can shoot like a sniper, and yet can't manage to throw a rock on a beach in a way that will hit one of three male imbeciles who are dancing around with swords? Nobody? OK, me neither. What a pathetic set of scenes. The sword choreography sucked, the motivation was awful, and it just went on WAY WAY WAY too long.
Second, what the hell was the point of that jar of dirt? OK, it gave an excuse for Jack to think he had the heart when he didn't, but why was it there? Why did the voodoo woman give it to him in the first place? Why did he put the heart into it anyway, since that made it harder to carry and subject to drop/break? There's just no motivation and that becomes really clear at the end when Norrington (the former commodore) drops a simple sack on the desk.
The scene with Will stealing the key was just awful and draggy. He approaches the sleeping Davey Jones from the WRONG side, having to reach ALL the way across the captain's body to get the key. Apparently it's about the camera angles since the space didn't let the director fit cameras behind Turner or on the opposite side if he had been in the logical position (Jones's left, where the key was hung). And what is with that organ anyway? Davey Jones as Captain Nemo? PUH LEEZE.
There were more stupid bits but those three really screamed "awful awful" at me and just should never have made it into the final film. I can't resist one more stupid bit: why is the bosun whipping the crew ONLY while they're cranking up the Kraken-summoner? Sure, he's evil and it's hard work, but hello there are a gazillion jobs on a sailing ship that involve a lot of men using brute force to move something. I didn't see any whipping for those.
I did enjoy some of the central tensions of the movie (Will Turner and his father; the Swann-Sparrow-Turner triangle) but they would have been SO much better if not drowned in all that crap.
Pygment and I both left the theater with jawline-clenching headaches, which I think came from the theater's subsonics. The movie uses them heavily and I found it annoying. Anyone else notice this?
EDIT: Askaninja hated it too but he's way funnier than I am: "The only thing there were in this movie more than pirates were plotlines." "If you don't know Kiera Knightly, she's a slightly more mannish version of Orlando Bloom." http://www.askaninja.com/node/1175
The movie could really have stood to be 45 minutes shorter. Too much stuff was just drawn out and out and on and on. The entire bit with the cannibals and the extensive chase things could have been cut without losing a single bit of importance.
The writers (IMDB lists four, never a good sign) and director (Verbinski) seem to have completely forgotten how funny and charming the first movie was. This one had a couple of chuckles but the only real laugh-out-loud bit in the movie came as part of the "make a lot of fun of dark-skinned island people" thing, which made me more than a little uncomfortable.
The special effects were generally quite good, particularly the Flying Dutchman's crew. On the other hand, the Kraken scenes really suffered from some very bad bluescreening in a couple places, especially the close-ups. The animation house (ILM, I believe) seems to have gotten tired of doing "yet another person gets snatched off the deck by a tentacled arm" scenes because some of the bodies being carried through the air are Just Wrong in the long shots. Another case where removing shots would've improved the film by preserving the freshness of these scenes.
Finally, the script just had so many STUPID bits I wanted to punch the writers.
Show of hands first: how many of you believe that Elizabeth Swann (Kiera Knightley's character) can swordfight like a master, can shoot like a sniper, and yet can't manage to throw a rock on a beach in a way that will hit one of three male imbeciles who are dancing around with swords? Nobody? OK, me neither. What a pathetic set of scenes. The sword choreography sucked, the motivation was awful, and it just went on WAY WAY WAY too long.
Second, what the hell was the point of that jar of dirt? OK, it gave an excuse for Jack to think he had the heart when he didn't, but why was it there? Why did the voodoo woman give it to him in the first place? Why did he put the heart into it anyway, since that made it harder to carry and subject to drop/break? There's just no motivation and that becomes really clear at the end when Norrington (the former commodore) drops a simple sack on the desk.
The scene with Will stealing the key was just awful and draggy. He approaches the sleeping Davey Jones from the WRONG side, having to reach ALL the way across the captain's body to get the key. Apparently it's about the camera angles since the space didn't let the director fit cameras behind Turner or on the opposite side if he had been in the logical position (Jones's left, where the key was hung). And what is with that organ anyway? Davey Jones as Captain Nemo? PUH LEEZE.
There were more stupid bits but those three really screamed "awful awful" at me and just should never have made it into the final film. I can't resist one more stupid bit: why is the bosun whipping the crew ONLY while they're cranking up the Kraken-summoner? Sure, he's evil and it's hard work, but hello there are a gazillion jobs on a sailing ship that involve a lot of men using brute force to move something. I didn't see any whipping for those.
I did enjoy some of the central tensions of the movie (Will Turner and his father; the Swann-Sparrow-Turner triangle) but they would have been SO much better if not drowned in all that crap.
Pygment and I both left the theater with jawline-clenching headaches, which I think came from the theater's subsonics. The movie uses them heavily and I found it annoying. Anyone else notice this?
EDIT: Askaninja hated it too but he's way funnier than I am: "The only thing there were in this movie more than pirates were plotlines." "If you don't know Kiera Knightly, she's a slightly more mannish version of Orlando Bloom." http://www.askaninja.com/node/1175
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 04:02 pm (UTC)The rock -- I seem to recall that the rock was not terribly aerodynamic. She may also have suffered from indecision about just who she really wanted to hit with it.
Jar of Dirt -- the purpose of the Jar of Dirt, was to protect Jack. It had nothing to do with the heart at all (other than being a convenient hiding place). Since Jones can't walk on land (except once every 10 years), perhaps the theory was that Jack could dump it out, stand on it and be protected from Jones (although the Kraken suffers no such troubles and even the vodoo lady wasn't absolutely certain it'd work).
The key -- I think I'd have to physically show you why I think this was OK. It has to do mainly with his method of sliding the key off and how that would require the angle of the stick to come in from across the body. If he came at it from the near side it wouldn't slide off properly.
The whipping -- I don't seem to recall any other major heavy-lifting jobs that would've required the lash other than the Kraken-signal. However, it's also likely that pain and suffering helped activate the signal.
I'm spending far too much time defending a movie that, I agree, was just a bit too long (although to the movie's credit I never noticed how long it was while I was watching it).
later
Tom
no subject
Date: 2006-07-10 05:52 pm (UTC)The key - mm, not so much. The whole three-sticks thing was just too drawn out. What makes it so much better to move the tentacles with chopsticks than with his fingers?
As for the Jar of Dirt - I remember what she said. What I'm complaining about is that the movie writers totally botched it. They should all be forced to read Chekov because that is definitely a loaded gun that never fired. Had it been used as intended I'd be all for it. Or attempted to use, and not worked, OK I could live with that.
Finally, I really recall the point where I'd had enough of the movie dragging on. The netting of powder and rum is swinging in the air and Will is hacking at it and shouting for her to shoot and people are being dragged off the ship.... and it's swinging and he's shouting... and people are being dragged... and it's swinging... and I'm sitting there muttering under my breath "just shoot the bastard already! At least that'll shut him up."