A disadvantage to being me

[drwex]

My friends often tease me about being a literalist. It is not, so far as I can tell, a voluntary activity. It's just the way my brain works.

For example, in World of Warcraft there's a monster I call Tautology Demon because part of his dialog is to yell "All mortals will perish!"

Well... duh.

And today my workplace sends out its annual EEO policy, which starts with:
"$EMPLOYER are committed to maintaining a work environment free of discrimination and illegal harassment."
and it's just impossible not to respond with the question "Wait, you mean there's legal harassment?"

I can, with conscious effort, stop myself from externally expressing these sorts of things. But I promise you all I do not expend any additional effort trying to think this stuff up; it's just the way I see the world.

Comments

[rmd.livejournal.com]

"Wait, you mean there's legal harassment?"

Yes. For instance, harassment not related to protected classes, like if your boss is just a bastard who yells a lot.

[tamidon.livejournal.com]

exactly

[caulay.livejournal.com]

Legal harassment - The portion of one's job description that reads "And other tasks as assigned."

Plus, yeah, what rmd said above.

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

It sounds to me as if your mind is ideally adapted for working with computers, which are very literal things. The world needs for there to be some people with minds like yours, so don't let anybody make you feel bad about it.

My father sent me some e-mail that I didn't get, and my mother wondered why I didn't get it. I told her that he'd sent it to my address .COML, rather than .COM, and she said it was obvious that he'd MEANT .com. "But Mom, computer have no idea what you MEANT. They only ever know what you SAID, so you have to say EXACTLY what you mean and ONLY what you mean." She thought that was weird. :-)

[hammercock.livejournal.com]

That is just croggling. Reminds me of the Charles Babbage quote:

On two occasions I have been asked, 'Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?' I am not able rightly to apprehend the kind of confusion of ideas that could provoke such a question.

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

I can actually sort of understand the Babbage thing. In his time, computers were so novel that they must have seemed more like gods than machines, at least to uneducated people. And a god would know if you put in the wrong figures. :-)

I remember a friend of mine from the Witcher forum who also plays The Sims was having trouble getting mods to work with her Sims game and said that the computer sometimes "liked" the mods and sometimes didn't like them, so there were some mods she just couldn't have. I told her that computers had rules, and they ALWAYS followed those rules, so if some of her mods weren't working, we just had to figure out which rule was governing that case. I got her mods to work, and she was very grateful, but she didn't quite believe me that I'd just figured out the right rules; she was convinced that computers just "like" me.

I told this to my husband -- he's a computer science professor -- and he said, "Wow, I wish we could get the 101 students to understand things the way you do. Maybe I'll borrow that phraseology -- 'Computers have rules, and they always follow the rules.' I don't think we've ever stated it quite as baldly as that; maybe that would help." Yeah, well, bluntness -- get your bluntness here. :-)

It reminds me of another famous quote

[drwex]

This is sometimes (mis)attributed to Douglas Adams, but afaict it was said by Joseph Campbell "[the computer] seems to me to be an Old Testament god with a lot of rules and no mercy."

Re: It reminds me of another famous quote

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

*laugh* Great quote!

Truly, though computers are so much better than the Old Testament god. Computers will do anything you tell them to do, provided that you ask them properly. Find me a god who will answer every prayer. :-)

Re: It reminds me of another famous quote

[rmd.livejournal.com]

Any of them. It's just that the answer is often "no"

Re: It reminds me of another famous quote

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

We'll have to agree to disagree on that one, since I'm an atheist.

[desiringsubject.livejournal.com]

Or maybe Mr. Babbage was not anticipating google's "did you mean ___" innovation and the questioner was!

I understand

[ahf.livejournal.com]

I have similar thoughts when reading things. We recently got open enrollment forms. We can sign up for Voluntary Accidental Death and Dismemberment. I think, you want us to volunteer for that???

Re: I understand

[intuition-ist.livejournal.com]

*snerk*

[tigira.livejournal.com]

Sounds like my household. I sometimes have to catch myself (and I'm not always successful) when I start speaking from a stressful frame of mind. I tend to fall into hyperbole, but others in my household think I'm speaking literally.

[ceo]

I don't know one single other person like that. Nope nope nope.

You are not alone

[rdhdsnippet.livejournal.com]

This reminds me of when my company instituted some yearly training which resulted in each of us being issued a certificate stating we were certified in sexual harassment.

You just can't make this stuff up.

[intuition-ist.livejournal.com]

right there with you. :)

Well, this post turned out to be a honey pot...

[c1.livejournal.com]

I do this at work with my BFF (we happen to happily work together). This morning, for example, he asked me to hold a mirror so he could get something out of his eye.
Hilarity ensued, despite him being excruciatingly specific about what he *didn't* want me to do.

It makes the day go by.

[mizarchivist]

FWIW, I read the "illegal harassment" part and immediately wondered about the legal variety. I have to agree that the legal type is the bit where other people get on one's case to keep doing what you're supposed to be doing in order to get paid.

[dpolicar]

I, of course, have no idea what that's like.