My own rules

[drwex]

Since I asked I figured it was fair to post my own.

Ask good questions.

Didn't cause, can't cure.

Don't say things just because you're expected to; this includes "I love you." Say what you actually feel, and it will have more meaning.

Forgive easily; never forget.

Free your ass and your mind will follow.

If it's bothering you, do something about it.

Make friends with secretaries.

Nature cannot be fooled; or, reality bats last.

Never attribute to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

No arguments or relationship discussions after midnight.

Relationships, both friendly and romantic, require work.

Remember to check in on your emotional state.

Set and setting.

Start from where you are.

The unexamined life is not worth living.

Truth and honor really matter.

"What is right action?" is the most important question I can study.

When you find yourself in a hole the very first thing you should do is STOP DIGGING.

You are responsible. I am responsible. Act like it.

Comments

[catya.livejournal.com]

Never attribute to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.

I love that one, though i would go with "explained by ignorance" or "by people making mistakes" or some such.

The unexamined life is not worth living.

I had to write an essay on this to get into college. Yes, I know, this says something about my college ;)

No arguments or relationship discussions after midnight.

Starting after midnight, or ending after midnight? :)

[drwex]

Have I mentioned recently how much I like having you in my life? 'Struth.

Anyway. Yes, ignorance != stupidity. I just feel a certain need to respect original authorship. I have a separate principle for dealing with mistakes. Basically if someone says "Oops I f'ed up and I'll try not to do that again" I am willing to forgive and move on.

And, yes to both not-starting after midnight and probably not-ending after midnight. See my comments on the other post. Once bitten, twice shy.

[coraline]

man, it took me the longest time to learn that one... (i'm a little more nightshifted than you i think, so midnight isn't the cut-off, but after about a dozen different horrible 4am discussions, i learned NOT to ask questions for reassurance at 2am when i wasn't POSITIVE the answer was what i wanted to hear. gah.)

[drwex]

Blessed are you, for you will be a better partner now. Horrible 2AM or 4AM discussions don't do any good in any relationship I've ever seen.

[tisana.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like most of these. Particularly this one:

"No arguments or relationship discussions after midnight."

I don't think I'd be so grumpy from sleep dep over the last few years if I'd thought of imposing that rule.

Though I have different priorities in my own rules. I should think on them. The only rules I ever thought to make up a list and post were the ones for my car, which included no smoking or drinking, wearing the seat belt, not being an idiot to the driver (I had one genius bf who liked to take my hand off the wheel because he thought it was romantic. I drove with one hand.), and no gamer geeking...or they'd get out and walk.

[drwex]

If I'm chuckling it's because of the "gamer geeking" comment. I agree that messing with the driver's hands is absolutely verboten and generally i agree that driver's preference should overrule. Mostly because I don't want the driver to be bored, or distracted or uncomfortable at 65MPH.

just sayin

[ariesd.livejournal.com]

Didn't cause, can't cure.

Can I get clarification because at face value I get this to mean "I can only fix my problems" Which is rather narrow of view as many people cure what they didn't cause.

I do it everyday.

note: In certain areas I agree with this, but that is not defined well enough for me. :-)

Re: just sayin

[drwex]

Didn't cause, can't cure was originally a mantra from the anti-codependency movement. People who made their problems into someone else's problem - usually their partner's - and then blamed the partner for inability to fix the problem.

It's partly about owning your own shit, but mostly about recognizing where your boundaries lie and not letting people's issues and one's base level of sympathy and caring cause one to be dragged over those boundaries into the mud.

Which reminds me there's another rule I need to add to the list...

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Set and setting.

?

[dpolicar]

yeah, I was curious about this too.

[drwex]

The phrase comes from Leary's original experiments with LSD at Harvard and elsewhere. One of the challenges to his work was that Leary and his colleagues were getting consistently positive results whereas people trying elsewhere were getting mixed or negative results.

Leary argued that those replicating his work were missing two key elements: the mindset (set) of the people taking the drug and the place in which it was done (setting).

I generalize this principle to much more of life. The way you mentally approach something can drastically change your experience of it. Setting matters, too. If you find yourself faced with something unpleasant, see if you can reset it into a context where you're more physically comfortable and feel more secure.

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Interesting; thanks!

[harlequinaide.livejournal.com]

You missed one:

If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

The lesson I learned elsewhere, the wording I got from you.

[drwex]

You are so right. Thank you, I'll edit that one in, too.

[edichka2.livejournal.com]

"The unexamined life is not worth living."

Corollary: The unlived life is not worth examining.

- Eddie

[drwex]

I've heard that corollary before. Not sure I precisely follow it. Or even how I would.

[edichka2.livejournal.com]

It's partly just a snappy comeback, but I think it also means that one should avoid analysis leading to paralysis. Distantly related to "Fuck art -- let's dance."

- Eddie

[drwex]

Fair enough, as a principle. Just not something I use for my own guidance.