If I had a daughter

[drwex]

I would want her to see this: http://vimeo.com/45539176

And then I would have to be ashamed to explain why the world is such that this video is necessary. I don't have a daughter. I have sons, who I hope can help make a world where this video is no longer necessary.

Comments

[mizarchivist]

pebble

Thank you for sharing this

[sweetmmeblue.livejournal.com]

I too am sorry it is necessary.

[wotw]

It *is* pretty hilarious, but part of me fears it was intended to be taken seriously.

[drwex]

Obvious troll is obvious.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

I'm seeing this through the view of a woman who has a daughter (and no son).

Your post reads as if you feel it's important for a daughter to see the video, but not a son. Why not both?

[drwex]

Because women (daughters) constantly get the opposite message. My sons will never have to deal with the constant bombardment of attempts by others to own their bodies that others' daughters will have to endure. My sons will have thousands of role models of other males who demonstrate the values narrated in this monologue. I worry that peoples' daughters will be like the women of my acquaintance, who have to work hard to find role models to emulate.

For my sons (who are still young) to understand why this video is necessary they first need to understand the context against which the video reacts, since they don't live it daily. That part I'm working on.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

But ... how do you change the society giving these messages if you don't make sure that both the people giving and the people receiving the messages are educated?

It doesn't do much good to tell my daughter that her body is her body if boys still treat it like it's theirs (and perpetuate a culture that says womens bodies are property). I can educated her all I want, but it seems to me we need to educate both sides, don't we?

It kind of seems like these sorts of "show your daughters!" memes are all predicated on the idea that it's up to the victim (hate that terminology) to create change. Which we do because then we can blame the victim when change doesn't occur. Makes it easier for us all. My girl's not going to be like those girls who let boys rape them (see what I did there?) because I'll have educated her! Doesn't work that way.

[intuition-ist.livejournal.com]

The moment you say something is yours, you act differently about it. If you never hear the message that your body is your own, other people trying to take advantage of you or prevent you from doing something have a better chance of succeeding.

Message = important
Message + ability to back up what you say physically = also important

(where "you" means "some person", not you, personally)

[aelf.livejournal.com]

I agree. I also think more men need to hear women saying their bodies are theirs, if we want this message to be ANYTHING for girls other than another method of making it their fault when society or individuals in that society interfere with their ownership of their body.

If this video is important for our daughters in helping them own their power, then it is important for our sons in giving them the message that they do not own girls bodies or choices.

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

Just wanted to say as a mama to a son, I had the same reaction as you.

[drwex]

You seem to think I'm saying something different than I am trying to say.

Women (daughters) get a different message from society than men (sons). Daughters need to know that message is wrong/harmful. Sons need to know that they are responsible for not being part of that message. I never said anything about "not... educated."

If it's not clear at this point that you're arguing against not-my-position then I'm not sure what else I can say.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

I think your position is that this information is important for girls.

I think your position is that this information is not (as) important for boys.

I think if you believe the first position, then you can't believe the second position.

Following "show this to your daughters" memes perpetuates the idea that the responsibility for change lies solely with our daughters. You don't feel a need to show this to your sons. Because they're not at risk of being victimized in this way. Except they're at risk of being perpetrators. Don't you think showing them the video of women claiming their own power and speaking against their voices and rights being silenced would be helpful in reinforcing the idea that men have no right to try and remove that from a woman?

[drwex]

I disagree with your premises and thus your conclusion. I also seem not to be able to get you to understand what I'm saying, so I'll stop here.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

You said you'd show the video to a daughter, but not a son.

I'm not sure how else you can interpret that premise. Both sons and daughters of yours would be educated "in the water" so to speak that they are empowered and can make their own choices and no one should take their power or voices from them. But for your daughters, you would find a benefit in them watching this video, in addition to the normal education they'd be getting from being raised by you. For your sons, eh, just the normal stuff is fine. They don't need to see the video.

How else do you interpret that other than you view this information as being more important to your daughters than your sons?

(I've been trying some way of saying this with different/better words, but I'm not finding it.)

[dcltdw]

Oh bravo. :)

[intuition-ist.livejournal.com]

awesome video. should be on every school's required list. but omg did you even read a few of the comments? slavering nutbars were coming out of the *woodwork*. bleh.

[drwex]

No, I never read the comments. It's like wading naked in a cesspit.

[elusiveat.livejournal.com]

Important video. Too bad that my computer/network and Vimeo seem to be having threading issues communicating with each other.