There was this BARCC thing
Nov. 5th, 2012 02:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drwexThis past weekend, I attended a BARCC - Boston-Area Rape Crisis Center workshop. This two-hour training was held for the Arisia 2013 convention committee and volunteers, to help us understand how to respond to a crisis, particularly one involving sexual assault.
Arisia and NESFA are organizing at least two other sessions with BARCC, one specifically for Ops and Security people, who are often a convention's "First Responders", and another one that is intended to be open to general convention staff and attendees.
In conjunction with this training, Arisia is revising its Code of Conduct but that revision isn't done, so I didn't put much about the workshop into the Arisia meeting records. I'm not going to talk about BARCC itself - you can go to their Web site to read that. This is me transcribing notes and is disorganized. I may take time to go back and clean this up, but I want to get it down now. I speak ONLY for me.
The workshop was very experiential, focusing on individuals' thoughts and reactions. A major point of this was to get us to realize that everyone goes through crises. The moderators did a good job of getting us to talk about things, without talking about the specific crisis things (if that makes any sense - nobody had to confess anything).
In response to crises people have a wide variety of reactions (feelings) and a vastly different set of things that are helpful or unhelpful for them. It's not terribly surprising to realize that what is listed as "helpful" by one person is listed as "unhelpful" by another. Because of this, BARCC teaches a first-response scheme with the acronym SEEK (Safety, Empowerment, Empathy, Knowledge) - more on this in a bit - that pushes an individualized response.
Memorable points, paraphrased by me:
- Response to an assault crisis is often about having a community that can back you. People who understand THAT you going through something, even if they don't understand what it is.
- BARCC talk about "Creating communities of intolerance (for inappropriate behavior)" and of course that bangs head-on into the supposed openness and inclusiveness of fandom.
- You definitely know survivors of sexual assault. Statistically, you probably also know one or more perpetrators. (I know at least two, and it's freaky.)
- The response of the first person who is told about an assault has a disproportionate effect on what happens next. A neutral or positive response from the first person is a very reliable predictor of both whether the reporter will seek additional help and of longer-term outcomes.
The SEEK model:
- Safety (physical and emotional). Emphasizes that people must make their own safety decisions; your approval or disapproval is not required. "What can I do to help you feel safer?" is generally a good question if you're open to whatever the response might be. If you are either a mandated reporter or feel you're going to have to tell someone, let the person know that before they talk to you.
- Empowerment. Sexual assault is one of the most dis-empowering things that happens to people. First response can help people reclaim their power by letting them talk and letting them decide. Offering options without judgment.
- Empathy. Mostly this seems to come down to belief (which can be REALLY FREAKING HARD sometimes). You can validate someone's experiences without committing yourself to their vision of reality. Understand that this is real _to them_ and denying that reality can shut off important things that may happen later.
- Knowledge. Be prepared; see above about passing on a report. I put the BARCC hotline number in my cellphone. If nothing else, I can give that number to someone who might decide to use it.
The last part of the workshop focused on the role and idea of the "bystander". Imagine that there's a spectrum on which one side is healthy and age-appropriate behavior and on the other side is obviously evil sexual abusiveness and violent assault. We can agree that all interpersonal behavior falls somewhere on the spectrum. The question is where does a given behavior fall, as we each judge it.
- There is no Platonic arbiter. Each of us has to make our own calls on what we see/hear/experience.
- Emphasis not on stopping actual acts (of rape or assault); that makes good TV drama but in reality emphasize more stopping behaviors that are trending out of the acceptable zone and might lead to the evil zone.
- Bystanders are rarely alone. Everyone is embedded in a community of family, friends, officials who can be involved. If you're hesitant to respond by yourself, look for people in the web who can respond with you.
My final take-away from this is that things are much easier if you have a clear-cut idea of something wrong (e.g. older adult sexting a teenager) but real-world behaviors are rarely so clear-cut. Hard situations are still hard but rather than trying to resolve a hard situation (or even figure out A Truth) try focusing on helping the person who needs to feel safer.
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no subject
Date: 2012-11-05 08:07 pm (UTC)In therapy with adults who were abused as children, we often talk about emotional reality as opposed to physical reality.
Some clients think that they have to prove the physical reality of their abuse in order to be taken seriously by a therapist, but this is not correct. If a person FELT abused, then they are likely to have the symptoms of abuse and are likely to need help to overcome those things. We can talk about the physical reality if they really need to, but the emotional reality is important enough that most therapists consider it primary.
no subject
Date: 2012-11-09 03:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-09 05:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-09 05:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-11-09 05:56 pm (UTC)