The Jewish Thing (first in a series)

[drwex]

I have a long post brewing inspired by my own son's bar mitzvah and a very different bar mitzvah I attended this past weekend. In an effort to make the post shorter and more accessible to everyone else I need to do some background explaining. This is the first part.

A man goes to a rabbi and says, "Rabbi I want to convert to Judaism."
Rabbi says, "You know we're not supposed to encourage converts and anyway being a Jew is a lot of hard work and you don't want to do this I'm sure."

The man replies, "No, rabbi, I'm sure. I've read a lot about it and I think I've found the right religion for me."
"Well," says the rabbi, "take this large stack of books and go read them then tell me what you think."
The man looks unhappy but he takes the books and off he goes.

A month later he's back in the rabbi's office. "Rabbi! Thank you so much! Those books were great! And I still want to convert."
"Hunh," says the rabbi. "Let's see if you learned anything. Answer me this: A priest and a rabbi are walking across a roof, there's a hole and one of them falls in. Which one?"
The man thinks since it's a rabbi asking me the right answer must be, "The priest!"
The rabbi shakes his head and sighs sadly. The man looks dejected.
"OK, OK," says the rabbi. "Tell you what. You come to services, see if you fit in, join the men's club."
Off he goes.

A month later he's back in the rabbi's office again. "Rabbi! This is wonderful. I've been enjoying services and I made a couple new friends and I'm starting to feel like I really fit in. You have to let me convert."
"Well," says the rabbi, "can you answer my question?"
"Which question?"
"A priest and a rabbi are walking across a roof, there's a hole and one of them falls in. Which one?"
OK, thinks the man, I got this. I gave the wrong answer last time so this time it has to be, "The rabbi!"
The rabbi shakes his head and sighs, sadly. The man looks bewildered.
"Rabbi," he says, "I don't understand! Last time I said it was the priest and that was wrong. This time I say the rabbi and it's still wrong! I don't get it."
The rabbi calls out, "Shmuel! Shmuel!" He beckons his student over.
"Yes, rabbi?"
The rabbi asks his student: "A priest and a rabbi are walking across a roof, there's a hole and one of them falls in. Which one?"
"Nu?" says the student, "What were they doing on the roof in the first place?"

I love telling this joke because it encapsulates a very important thing about Judaism for me. Judaism is about questioning. If you read the texts literally, there's the usual stuff about obedience to G-d, but if you look at the stories you see that our history is full of people - very important people - who questioned, who disobeyed, who didn't just go along. Remember Moses and the burning bush? Moses is out there in the desert where he talks to the bush because he didn't want to do what he was told, so he ran. Remember Jonah, swallowed by the whale? He was swallowed by the whale because he didn't want to do what he was told. Remember Lot, in Gomorrah? Originally he's asked to find a large number of righteous people and instead of obeying he bargains G-d down to just 10 righteous people.

We're a culture that celebrates the questioning, the arguing. This is important background #1.

Comments

[whipchick.livejournal.com]

I really, really love this. Let us all be questioners :)

[davidfcooper.livejournal.com]

Yes, the skeptical questioning aspect, including not revering human beings. Christianity holds that Jesus was the perfect human, but Judaism insists there never was and never will be a perfect human. Islam holds that prophets are infallible and to be revered, but Judaism portrays prophets with stark warts and all realism. In addition to the examples you cite: on two occasions when Pharoah and the king of the Phoenicians showed erotic interest in Sarah Abraham pretended his wife was his sister, and he cast out his concubine and first born son; Jacob was a manipulative liar who cheated his brother out of his birth-right; Joseph was a narcissist; and Moses disobeyed God by striking a rock with a stick to produce water instead of talking to it as he had been commanded. Tradition holds that the prophet Jeremiah accidentally impregnated his daughter when she bathed in his bath water in which he had earlier had a spontaneous ejaculation. The Jewish skeptic in me finds that explanation far fetched.

[drwex]

Yes, it's my intention to delve into the problematic nature somewhat in other situations as I develop my thesis. Moses pretty clearly had a temper all his life - he killed the overseer in a fit of pique, struck the rock as you mentioned and even smashed the tablets upon his descent from Sinai because he was furious that the people had constructed an idol to worship. I shan't mention Lot's behavior, which is pretty repulsive by modern standards.

[davidfcooper.livejournal.com]

God also has anger issues and as a character evolves over the course of the Tanakh. In the early chapters of Exodus He is a jealous, primitive, polytheist diety with sibling rivalry issues vis-a-vis the other dieties. "Who is like unto You among the gods, Adonai" Exodus 15:11 clearly implies the existence of other gods and indicates that the God being addressed is insecure and needs reassurance. By the late prophets of the Persian period God is a universal spirit. BTW I highly recommend Yale Jewish history professor Michael Satlow's series of podcasts From Israelite to Jew (https://itunes.apple.com/itunes-u/from-israelite-to-jew/id413125976?mt=10), a history of Jews and Judaism during the Babylonian, Persian, Hellenic, and Roman periods.

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

Isn't the Talmud basically a history of questions and arguments? From this outsider's perspective, Judaism has always sounded like training in critical thinking. (Well, except for the ultra-Orthodox, because the right-wing crazies of most religions are disturbingly the same...)

[davidfcooper.livejournal.com]

It is, and it's worth noting that in the Talmud the losing side of an argument gets the last word. The forward looking editors of the Talmud realized that minority opinions may be applicable to similar cases in differing circumstances that readers may face in later centuries.

Like right-wing reactionaries of other religions Separatist Judaism (a more accurate description than ultra-Orthodox) is a modern movement that arose in reaction to modernity.

[drwex]

Sort of. The word kind of means "learnings" and one way to look at Talmud is as a series of lessons on Jewish law and life. As part of teaching a lesson you often frame questions and answers that explore that lesson.

[frobzwiththingz.livejournal.com]

That's the longest exposition of that joke i've seen yet.

[drwex]

Thank you? (I do know a secular version that is essentially similar but I don't know a more core-Jewish version that is simpler.)