The future is all around us
Dec. 30th, 2015 09:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drwexDear LJ, it has been three weeks (and a bit, since this entry got delayed) since I last updated. December is almost over (thank ghu), Christmas is past (whew) and Arisia is less than 20 days away (how did that happen?). I find myself - as I often do at this time of year - re-watching the Babylon 5 episode Z'ha'dum and listening to the words G'kar speaks at the end. They are dire, and I do not feel that dire; they are also hopeful, and I am not sure how hopeful I am right now.
It has been an emotionally challenging few weeks, the details of which I'm not going to post, particularly publicly. So instead let's talk about some things that have happened.
We had a party. It was good - more people came than expected, despite the ridiculously unseasonable temperatures. As I was taking the dog to the kennel prior to the party I remembered that I used to love December in Austin. I'd be wandering around in a short-sleeved tee shirt and jeans, calling up my northern friends and mock-solicitously asking about the weather. Now here it is December 2015 and I'm in the northeast and wearing a tee shirt and jeans. Something is deeply wrong, dearly beloved.
I did a little mental calculation and realized I had moved to Texas almost 30 years ago, which seems like a very long time. I was a very different person and I am nostalgic for many of the parts of that former life. Other parts not so much. But holy crap, thirty years!
I am continuing to see the new girlfriend, who does not have an LJ and whom I shall for the moment call J. She was away for a week on a professional conference and again for this past week on family holiday (visiting her dogs, mostly, who are staying with her mom at the moment). This new relationship is good, for all its differences from my usual fare. J did come to the party and met several of my friends, getting thumbs up from some of them. At least, the ones I asked were too polite to tell me otherwise.
By a week later I was back into my December trough despite the weather. Managed to get out for a haircut and dinner with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mizarchivist, both of which were lovely. We went for a walk-and-talk afterward, a thing I like to do with friends and don't get nearly enough of. That Saturday I was supposed to go to two things but Because Kids I simply didn't have the spoons. Fortunately, Pygment managed to push/bribe/cajole me into getting dressed up for "Cocktails and Hats", which I enjoyed despite myself. I sort of stumble-walked through the next few days, and then the relatives arrived.
My family are lovely and not nearly the nightmares some other people have to deal with, but still there was a little family this-and-that and there was more Kid Stuff and dinners out were nice but left me feeling weirdly out of time - desynched from my normal routine so to speak. And there was not nearly enough good sleep in the last few weeks, for a whole variety of reasons.
One of those is my back still being messed up. I'm still doing PT once or twice a week but it's a slow process of two-steps-forward-one-step-back that gets frustrating. I don't mind slow progress as long as it's progress. But I don't get to control that, I just adapt and keep on.
Now we're past the worst of it, I hope, and the days begin to lengthen (or so I'm told). We'll be getting out for New Year's Eve for the first time in a decade and a half; I'm quite looking forward to that.
As an aside, Thing 1 is now officially as tall as I and still growing. He's able to borrow my shirts and pants and they're not ridiculously big on him. He outgrew not just last year's boots but also the boots that last year were too big so we set them aside). OMG Teenager is also OMG Young Adult. Puppies are so much easier, let me tell you.
Happy New Year to all. This year got fired so long ago I can't even find its termination paperwork anymore. May the next one be considerably better.
It has been an emotionally challenging few weeks, the details of which I'm not going to post, particularly publicly. So instead let's talk about some things that have happened.
We had a party. It was good - more people came than expected, despite the ridiculously unseasonable temperatures. As I was taking the dog to the kennel prior to the party I remembered that I used to love December in Austin. I'd be wandering around in a short-sleeved tee shirt and jeans, calling up my northern friends and mock-solicitously asking about the weather. Now here it is December 2015 and I'm in the northeast and wearing a tee shirt and jeans. Something is deeply wrong, dearly beloved.
I did a little mental calculation and realized I had moved to Texas almost 30 years ago, which seems like a very long time. I was a very different person and I am nostalgic for many of the parts of that former life. Other parts not so much. But holy crap, thirty years!
I am continuing to see the new girlfriend, who does not have an LJ and whom I shall for the moment call J. She was away for a week on a professional conference and again for this past week on family holiday (visiting her dogs, mostly, who are staying with her mom at the moment). This new relationship is good, for all its differences from my usual fare. J did come to the party and met several of my friends, getting thumbs up from some of them. At least, the ones I asked were too polite to tell me otherwise.
By a week later I was back into my December trough despite the weather. Managed to get out for a haircut and dinner with
mizarchivist, both of which were lovely. We went for a walk-and-talk afterward, a thing I like to do with friends and don't get nearly enough of. That Saturday I was supposed to go to two things but Because Kids I simply didn't have the spoons. Fortunately, Pygment managed to push/bribe/cajole me into getting dressed up for "Cocktails and Hats", which I enjoyed despite myself. I sort of stumble-walked through the next few days, and then the relatives arrived.My family are lovely and not nearly the nightmares some other people have to deal with, but still there was a little family this-and-that and there was more Kid Stuff and dinners out were nice but left me feeling weirdly out of time - desynched from my normal routine so to speak. And there was not nearly enough good sleep in the last few weeks, for a whole variety of reasons.
One of those is my back still being messed up. I'm still doing PT once or twice a week but it's a slow process of two-steps-forward-one-step-back that gets frustrating. I don't mind slow progress as long as it's progress. But I don't get to control that, I just adapt and keep on.
Now we're past the worst of it, I hope, and the days begin to lengthen (or so I'm told). We'll be getting out for New Year's Eve for the first time in a decade and a half; I'm quite looking forward to that.
As an aside, Thing 1 is now officially as tall as I and still growing. He's able to borrow my shirts and pants and they're not ridiculously big on him. He outgrew not just last year's boots but also the boots that last year were too big so we set them aside). OMG Teenager is also OMG Young Adult. Puppies are so much easier, let me tell you.
Happy New Year to all. This year got fired so long ago I can't even find its termination paperwork anymore. May the next one be considerably better.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-12-30 07:54 pm (UTC)A dear friend/ex-lover visited me in early December. We met in 1981, and thinking that I'd known her for THIRTY-FOUR YEARS was really mind-blowing. I met her in GRADUATE SCHOOL, and yet it's been how long? So yeah, I hear you!
I am unusually short on spoons today, so I don't have the wherewithal to comment on the rest of what you said, but I'm listening and caring, even if the comment isn't there.
Here's hoping your 2016 will be a much better year!
no subject
Date: 2015-12-30 08:00 pm (UTC)Thanks for taking the spoons out of your limited pile to write a comment - it's appreciated.