Ch-ch-ch-changes
Jan. 25th, 2016 04:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drwexRambling reflections on slow changes in my life
Surprising nobody there's been a fair bit of Bowie - originals, tributes, mash-ups - in my music stream of late. A week or so ago I was listening to "Modern Love" and I realized a thing that had changed. Bowie was hip without the sneer, cool without the need to make someone else look or feel un-cool. Bowie wasn't a hipster in the sense we use that word now because part of being a hipster is an air of superiority. Back in Bowie's heyday, it was enough just to be that cool, that hip. At Arisia I asked John Scalzi about the notion/dangers of "punching down" (which is so easy to do as a privileged white dude) and I liked his response, which seemed very in line with this. You can be funny without making anyone feel bad, just like Bowie showed how to be hip without needing anyone else to be square.
I've spent a lot of time playing World of Warcraft. Pygment and I started a guild and I spent nearly 10 years leading raid groups of 9-39 other people. It was a lot of cat-herding. This past summer I burned out pretty badly, Pygment gafiated, and the guild fell apart. Things change. I still log in almost every day but now I'm less burdened by responsibilities there. I raid if I want to, and don't if I don't. If I decide I'd rather go out on a date or whatever I don't have to worry about scheduling. If I get it into my head not to log in I'm not disappointing a lot of other people. It's liberating.
At Arisia I sort of picked up my camera again. I shot some of the first half of the bellydance show and a few lobby candids. Taking photos used to be a big thing for me, then circumstances ended up meaning I missed all of my usual photo opportunities and taking a camera to parties started to seem more awkward than fun so I stopped doing it. I also have a huge chunk of gear envy - my camera body is old and slow and the optics don't let me get a lot of shots I want. I'm torn over sinking cash into a new camera body if I'm not going to use it, but the lack of a better camera is also stopping me from using it. Catch-22 much? Pygment commented - correctly - that I see and interact with the world differently when I don't have my camera.
I'm getting more used to having short hair. Getting compliments on it is helping - apparently everyone from my girlfriend to my stepmother likes the way it looks. It's strange in part because I'm not used to getting compliments on my appearance. Like the compliments I've been getting on my clothing I'm trying to accept peoples' remarks with grace and not so much of the verbal stumbling. It's a work in progress, but I think it's changing for the better.
So that's something from me. Dear readers, what has changed in your life, slowly and yet you've noticed?
Surprising nobody there's been a fair bit of Bowie - originals, tributes, mash-ups - in my music stream of late. A week or so ago I was listening to "Modern Love" and I realized a thing that had changed. Bowie was hip without the sneer, cool without the need to make someone else look or feel un-cool. Bowie wasn't a hipster in the sense we use that word now because part of being a hipster is an air of superiority. Back in Bowie's heyday, it was enough just to be that cool, that hip. At Arisia I asked John Scalzi about the notion/dangers of "punching down" (which is so easy to do as a privileged white dude) and I liked his response, which seemed very in line with this. You can be funny without making anyone feel bad, just like Bowie showed how to be hip without needing anyone else to be square.
I've spent a lot of time playing World of Warcraft. Pygment and I started a guild and I spent nearly 10 years leading raid groups of 9-39 other people. It was a lot of cat-herding. This past summer I burned out pretty badly, Pygment gafiated, and the guild fell apart. Things change. I still log in almost every day but now I'm less burdened by responsibilities there. I raid if I want to, and don't if I don't. If I decide I'd rather go out on a date or whatever I don't have to worry about scheduling. If I get it into my head not to log in I'm not disappointing a lot of other people. It's liberating.
At Arisia I sort of picked up my camera again. I shot some of the first half of the bellydance show and a few lobby candids. Taking photos used to be a big thing for me, then circumstances ended up meaning I missed all of my usual photo opportunities and taking a camera to parties started to seem more awkward than fun so I stopped doing it. I also have a huge chunk of gear envy - my camera body is old and slow and the optics don't let me get a lot of shots I want. I'm torn over sinking cash into a new camera body if I'm not going to use it, but the lack of a better camera is also stopping me from using it. Catch-22 much? Pygment commented - correctly - that I see and interact with the world differently when I don't have my camera.
I'm getting more used to having short hair. Getting compliments on it is helping - apparently everyone from my girlfriend to my stepmother likes the way it looks. It's strange in part because I'm not used to getting compliments on my appearance. Like the compliments I've been getting on my clothing I'm trying to accept peoples' remarks with grace and not so much of the verbal stumbling. It's a work in progress, but I think it's changing for the better.
So that's something from me. Dear readers, what has changed in your life, slowly and yet you've noticed?
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no subject
Date: 2016-01-26 04:09 am (UTC)Also... consider going insanely low-tech. Probably the best advice I ever got was to get a Holga. You should, too. You have no control, so it really impacts your creativity: you're freed from the constraints of formality, and it then just becomes you, your subject, and "click". I find I have a more spontaneous, yet more intimate relationship with my subject when I can't hide behind metering and all that jazz. From there, 4x5 became an easy move...
Re: hair. I was holding back, because a lot of people flipped their wigs when I went short. But I noticed at Arisia. You wear the new do well.
no subject
Date: 2016-01-26 07:29 pm (UTC)"gafiated"? I don't recognize this word, and Google was mum on the subject. What's it mean?
Too much jargon
Date: 2016-01-26 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-26 07:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-26 07:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2016-01-28 01:30 am (UTC)The positive stuff is mostly career related: If I ever had any impostor syndrome, it's gone now. Every year is a success. Every year I am hard on myself, but pleased with my work. Every year I get better. As I've gotten better, I've faked less. In my industry I went from newbie to inside the peer group, and every step of that journey was painfully obvious to me. But it feels like dues well paid because I earned it through hard work, and all the knowledge gained through those steps.
(and now i feel like i just talked about myself way too much ... :/ )
no subject
Date: 2016-01-28 01:53 am (UTC)Thank you for the update - I very much sympathize with the age-related stuff and I'm glad you've truly made it in your chosen field.