I keep wanting to update

[drwex]

And it keeps not happening. The latest update is that Thing 2 came home from camp on Saturday with some kind of aggressive illness, quite likely viral bronchitis. The odds that Pygment and I have now caught it are higher than I like.

OTOH, both of us felt better after napping, so maybe it's just accumulated stress and exhaustion. So here's a very small update from me...

Thing 1 is still at camp. He asked to stay another two weeks - he's apparently been doing well there. We told him he'd have to pay for it. He agreed. Then we told him how much it was. He blinked and continued to agree. This means, at a minimum, he's going to be missing his Friday night D&D, weekend classes, occasional Magic evenings, and other pay-as-you-go Guard Up activities. We'd normally pay for those - instead, we'll deduct them from his debt.

Later this school year he'll have some kind of paid internship, which I think he imagines will pay off this debt. I don't think he's going to be bringing home as much money as he thinks, and I think it's going to be a shock to him when he's in debt and has no money to spend at Arisia.

But I also think it's WAY better for him to get a first-hand idea of what it's like to be in debt now rather than later...

Last Saturday's Thing 2 pick-up took much longer than anticipated, plus there was nap fail so we ended up missing a_t_swampends's family BBQ. I'm writing this down now so hopefully I'll remember next time - it's OK to go over at 6PM for an event called for 4-6.

It's a little funny because we rarely put end times on our events. Usually it's "until the last guest leaves or we throw you out and go to bed." Some of our regular guests are perennial late-nighters, and for a while we pretended great shock when r_ness showed up at any of our events before midnight. But kids and age and tiredness and caution have gained the upper hand these days. What about you? If an event has an end time stated, how do you feel about showing up at or near that end time?

Comments

[surrealestate.livejournal.com]

If an event has an end time stated, how do you feel about showing up at or near that end time?

I'd be surprised if anyone's response to this wasn't "it depends". I wouldn't just show up at 6pm for a 4-6pm event without some assurance (or knowledge based on experience) that it was okay to do so. Some things really do end when they say they're going to end.

[r-ness.livejournal.com]

Reputation aside :) , this.

[silentq.livejournal.com]

I hope Thing 1 learns fiscal responsibility from his choices. :-)

Unless I'd been in contact with the host(s) already to confirm it was okay, I wouldn't show up in the last hour of an event.
For my events, if I put an end time at or before midnight, it's firm. After, it really means "until I kick you out". :-)

[donnad.livejournal.com]

how do you feel about showing up at or near that end time?

I think if I was going to show up within 30 minutes of the end time, I would call and make sure the gathering was still going on first. I usually put an end time on my gatherings, but it's not a firm time. If people are still here and socializing, I don't ask them to leave. Usually my end times mean, don't show up after this time without calling first.

[chienne-folle.livejournal.com]

Here's hoping that you and sweetmmeblue do NOT get viral bronchitis!

I think it's very smart of you to give Thing 1 a dose of reality while he's still in the protected realm of childhood. I think it's not in a person's best interests to be protected from consequences until one is adult and those consequences become serious; much better to at least begin to learn these things while the consequences are much smaller.

My husband is a lovely person when he's awake, but he can be unintentionally rude when sleepy. I generally put an end time on my invitations so that people would leave before my husband got too sleepy to behave well. It's fine if people show up half an hour before the end, as long as they do leave by the end; leaving by the time stated is best not just for my husband but also for the guests themselves. :-)

[points.livejournal.com]

If I'm going to be more than an hour after a given start-time, and it isn't an 'all day, drop in' sort of event, I typically won't come unless I can reach a host to make sure I wouldn't be imposing. Seconds on the wishes for not being ill.

[dcltdw]

I get cranky when tired, so if I did drop by, I would be very much on a "hi, not staying, just breezing through, lovely to see you all, okay must run, bye!" footing, and not really buying a "no no, sit down, sit down!" response unless it was repeated. A lot. I'm imposing by dropping by late; I expect they'll put on a good face; I'll expect that they expect me to see myself out promptly.

Then again, I try to be asleep by 10pm, so really, most parties go much later than our late arrival time. Heck, some parties start after that. :)

[mizarchivist]

Fiscal responsibility--
YES. He can safely find out how crappy it is. Not when he's 22 and surprised. ::solidarity::

Events--
I'm almost always preferring to be at a thing earlier than later, due to me not being able to stay up late, but also I find that showing up after something's very established, and possibly winding down, that I'm more likely not to feel like I can integrate into the situation- that I'm stuck on the outside, uncomfortable and feeling like I don't belong there (and if I"m having an extra shitty day, like nobody wants me there).
If I show up earlier, I can ease in. The crowd and noise build up and I can adjust a bit. The downside is that I may well get bored and want to leave before critical factors have culminated into the good time part.

[sariel-t.livejournal.com]

*pebble* I would have done the same thing as you - if it's towards the end time of an event, I don't go for the most part.