Weekend, with self-analysis
Oct. 8th, 2007 10:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drwexIt was a weekend, sort of. I'm losing more and more of me and my time to the depression. I've been trying a variety of things to combat it (get out, get more exercise, play with the kids, eat better) and none of them are having significant effect in the short term. I'm not giving up, but I'm also getting a little frustrated.
Wifey is being extremely good and supportive all around. I'm certain we'd nauseate anyone else with our cutesy little routines. Sometimes we just look at each other and say "Yay!" or "I win!" The joys of being married are big with us these days.
Friday we goofed off and made lists of things to do. I was feeling kind of down that nobody was going to come to the party Saturday. In the end a few folk did come. It was small but very nice - enough folk to sustain without it being overpowering. I think we ended up with more scotch than we started with. Again. What can I say - our friends rock like rocking things. *cheer*
Pygment got the tub up and running. I tackled the leaf monster on the porch and then, since the family was out, I decided to take advantage of the weather and sat out in the dappled light reading a book. I've been reading my first big fiction book (over 500 pages) in a while - Walter Jon Williams' City on Fire - and I stayed up late last night to finish it.
I realized that part of why I've stopped reading big fiction books is that when the kids are around I don't get any ability to focus on what I'm reading. A book takes me a while to fit back into and when you're being interrupted ever 20-30 seconds that's just not possible. I can glance back and forth from the computer screen much more easily. A couple weeks ago![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ariesd likened my computer gaming to fidgeting. It's true - some people chew gum, some smoke cigarettes, some compulsively reload their LJ friends page. Me? I play computer games.
Sunday I was feeling craptacular, mostly from having to spend three or four hours refereeing the kids while Pygment tried to make up for missed sleep. D&D didn't happen due to missing quorum of players and I punted on the one other major social activity I should've done. Feh on me for a lamer.
I'm at work today - we work Wall Street holidays, which means we don't get Invader's Day off, but we do get Dead Guy On A Stick Day off.
Wifey is being extremely good and supportive all around. I'm certain we'd nauseate anyone else with our cutesy little routines. Sometimes we just look at each other and say "Yay!" or "I win!" The joys of being married are big with us these days.
Friday we goofed off and made lists of things to do. I was feeling kind of down that nobody was going to come to the party Saturday. In the end a few folk did come. It was small but very nice - enough folk to sustain without it being overpowering. I think we ended up with more scotch than we started with. Again. What can I say - our friends rock like rocking things. *cheer*
Pygment got the tub up and running. I tackled the leaf monster on the porch and then, since the family was out, I decided to take advantage of the weather and sat out in the dappled light reading a book. I've been reading my first big fiction book (over 500 pages) in a while - Walter Jon Williams' City on Fire - and I stayed up late last night to finish it.
I realized that part of why I've stopped reading big fiction books is that when the kids are around I don't get any ability to focus on what I'm reading. A book takes me a while to fit back into and when you're being interrupted ever 20-30 seconds that's just not possible. I can glance back and forth from the computer screen much more easily. A couple weeks ago
ariesd likened my computer gaming to fidgeting. It's true - some people chew gum, some smoke cigarettes, some compulsively reload their LJ friends page. Me? I play computer games.Sunday I was feeling craptacular, mostly from having to spend three or four hours refereeing the kids while Pygment tried to make up for missed sleep. D&D didn't happen due to missing quorum of players and I punted on the one other major social activity I should've done. Feh on me for a lamer.
I'm at work today - we work Wall Street holidays, which means we don't get Invader's Day off, but we do get Dead Guy On A Stick Day off.
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Date: 2007-10-08 07:51 pm (UTC)It does sound like you need to make a little time for yourself, give yourself some room to grieve/dance/play/read -- whatever it is you do to get your head back in the game. I know how difficult that can be, AND how rehabilitative.
Many *hugs* for you.