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drwexI'm posting this here in part to remind myself to write it more fully later. However, commentary is open and welcome.
Adults repress joy. Children have the freedom to express it, but we try to repress it, in part to protect ourselves from being hurt. We fear the consequences of expressing anger, or sexual feelings. We are afraid that if we let ourselves love freely we'll be opening ourselves up for tremendous hurt. Joy and expressions of love are therefore repressed.
LJ creates/enables/encourages (I'm not sure which, maybe all) a culture of sadness. Observation: when a friend posts about her illness or depression or unhappiness, she receives many encouraging comments. The readers chime in, and participate in the expression, validating the feelings of sadness or depression. Observation: when a friend posts about his happiness, his readers complain and even stop reading his journal. Observation: when a friend posts about her sexual feelings, she is expected to label it "TMI" and put it behind a cut, lest someone be offended.
The social norm is that feelings of sadness or depression are supported; feelings of joy, sexuality, happiness are ignored, trivialized, or even draw negative feedback. I do not think this is unique to LJ; I think there are many Cultures of Sadness in modern life. I just happen to be participating in this one with roughly 120 of my closest friends.
Adults repress joy. Children have the freedom to express it, but we try to repress it, in part to protect ourselves from being hurt. We fear the consequences of expressing anger, or sexual feelings. We are afraid that if we let ourselves love freely we'll be opening ourselves up for tremendous hurt. Joy and expressions of love are therefore repressed.
LJ creates/enables/encourages (I'm not sure which, maybe all) a culture of sadness. Observation: when a friend posts about her illness or depression or unhappiness, she receives many encouraging comments. The readers chime in, and participate in the expression, validating the feelings of sadness or depression. Observation: when a friend posts about his happiness, his readers complain and even stop reading his journal. Observation: when a friend posts about her sexual feelings, she is expected to label it "TMI" and put it behind a cut, lest someone be offended.
The social norm is that feelings of sadness or depression are supported; feelings of joy, sexuality, happiness are ignored, trivialized, or even draw negative feedback. I do not think this is unique to LJ; I think there are many Cultures of Sadness in modern life. I just happen to be participating in this one with roughly 120 of my closest friends.
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-23 05:23 pm (UTC)Sad posts... it really varies. Over time, I find myself having to "shout" more in a sad post if I want anyone to pay attention.
Posts about social dilemmas often get really interesting discussions going. E.g. one person on my flist (I'm not sure if he is on yours) posted about gay marriage -- not just random thoughts, but how someone being radically opposed to it affects him personally, since he is gay, and some of the ethical issues of friendship or acquaintanceship with people who have very different views than one's own. He made two or three posts and there were about 150 comments.
Putting sexual content under a cut is really just good manners IMHO. Many people do read LJ at work, or when their kids/their mother/other people who wouldn't understand are nearby. Same goes for gory photos, and anything else that could be a "shock."
no subject
Date: 2005-10-24 12:23 am (UTC)I do not consider all sexual or shocking expression equivalent. I am referring here to the honest expression by one person of sexual feelings either in general, or for/to another specific person.