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drwexI'm posting this here in part to remind myself to write it more fully later. However, commentary is open and welcome.
Adults repress joy. Children have the freedom to express it, but we try to repress it, in part to protect ourselves from being hurt. We fear the consequences of expressing anger, or sexual feelings. We are afraid that if we let ourselves love freely we'll be opening ourselves up for tremendous hurt. Joy and expressions of love are therefore repressed.
LJ creates/enables/encourages (I'm not sure which, maybe all) a culture of sadness. Observation: when a friend posts about her illness or depression or unhappiness, she receives many encouraging comments. The readers chime in, and participate in the expression, validating the feelings of sadness or depression. Observation: when a friend posts about his happiness, his readers complain and even stop reading his journal. Observation: when a friend posts about her sexual feelings, she is expected to label it "TMI" and put it behind a cut, lest someone be offended.
The social norm is that feelings of sadness or depression are supported; feelings of joy, sexuality, happiness are ignored, trivialized, or even draw negative feedback. I do not think this is unique to LJ; I think there are many Cultures of Sadness in modern life. I just happen to be participating in this one with roughly 120 of my closest friends.
Adults repress joy. Children have the freedom to express it, but we try to repress it, in part to protect ourselves from being hurt. We fear the consequences of expressing anger, or sexual feelings. We are afraid that if we let ourselves love freely we'll be opening ourselves up for tremendous hurt. Joy and expressions of love are therefore repressed.
LJ creates/enables/encourages (I'm not sure which, maybe all) a culture of sadness. Observation: when a friend posts about her illness or depression or unhappiness, she receives many encouraging comments. The readers chime in, and participate in the expression, validating the feelings of sadness or depression. Observation: when a friend posts about his happiness, his readers complain and even stop reading his journal. Observation: when a friend posts about her sexual feelings, she is expected to label it "TMI" and put it behind a cut, lest someone be offended.
The social norm is that feelings of sadness or depression are supported; feelings of joy, sexuality, happiness are ignored, trivialized, or even draw negative feedback. I do not think this is unique to LJ; I think there are many Cultures of Sadness in modern life. I just happen to be participating in this one with roughly 120 of my closest friends.
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Date: 2005-10-23 08:08 pm (UTC)I tend to get a fair amount of replies - indeed usually a larger number - to posts which are silly.
And quite a few to posts which are happy. So I'm not sure I'm seeing the same LJ that you are.
Sure, I get support if I post when I'm unhappy, but that's _also_ what friends do.
And I put my sexual stuff in a specific filter because _I_ want to, because I don't think everyone reading me either wants to see it or is someone I would want to see it. Unlike joy and silliness, being sexual beyond simple things like kissing is generally very private, for me. So I filter it.
I cut things because of length, not because of content, unless I believe the content might be triggering or difficult for someone to read without warning.
Just some datapoints that I'm not sure agree with yours.
Most of the in depths comments I get are in response to me digging into my brain, which can be about happy things as much as about unhappy things, but which is usually about neither one. It's simply digging into how I work.
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Date: 2005-10-24 12:31 am (UTC)