Looks like you play in the wrong game
Aug. 8th, 2005 09:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
drwexSo all my gamer friends have linked to 250 things Mr. Welch can no longer do during an RPG
Except, here's the thing... most of these are highly apropos of the campaign I run (if you drop out all of those that are specific to non-fantasy games). Herewith a slightly edited version, which will be meaningful mostly to those who've gamed or know about VPM:
3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery. - Glib
5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills. - at least 3/5 of my players
6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan. - Yes it is, except for the synchronized part
7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes. - Yes you are (whichever of Maarten's chars had psionics)
8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook. - Yes it is (Earl)
12. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer. - Damson
15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A. - the whole party
22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino. - Glib
24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales. - Juniper
26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin. - Taegyra (of Sunnydale)
28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip. - Laisha
31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time. - Oh yes it is!
32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over. - Damson (or was that one of DJ's other chars?)
33. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking' - Krunk
38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepid mansion from the outside. - Phil
50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first. - Phil
55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf. - Cordan
63. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please. - Juniper AND Damson
73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick. - why the heck not?
74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live" - Muriel
75. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps" - Muriel
76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating. - Liloo
81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon. - Glib
82. Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste. - Gabar
84. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying a 220lb pull crossbow. - Nor a cart to mount it on!
86. Not allowed to make a superhero with a 99% chance of dodging even after the -10 penalty for a successful called shot. - Earl
87. There is no such thing as a dwarven katana. - Breoden
104. Nor is there a +1 Longsword, +5 against party members. - True, we mostly use bows against party members
117. I am restricted to memorizing Floating Disc only once per day. - I forget which of DJ's characters did this
122. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal. - What was Brian's paladin's name?
138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it. - oh please. This rule would bring our entire campaign to a screeching halt
188. I cannot play a elf with a scottish accent, nor a cajun dwarf. - err, why not?
229. Not allowed to spontaniously check if the elf can take a punch. - Cordan
Except, here's the thing... most of these are highly apropos of the campaign I run (if you drop out all of those that are specific to non-fantasy games). Herewith a slightly edited version, which will be meaningful mostly to those who've gamed or know about VPM:
3. There is no Gnomish god of heavy artillery. - Glib
5. Not allowed to blow all my skill points on 1pt professional skills. - at least 3/5 of my players
6. Synchronized panicking is not a proper battle plan. - Yes it is, except for the synchronized part
7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes. - Yes you are (whichever of Maarten's chars had psionics)
8. How to serve Dragons is not a cookbook. - Yes it is (Earl)
12. Must learn at least one offensive or defensive spell if I'm the sorcerer. - Damson
15. Plan B is not automatically twice as much gunpowder as Plan A. - the whole party
22. There is no such thing as a Gnomish Pygmy War Rhino. - Glib
24. Even if the rules allow it, I am not allowed to summon 50,000 Blue Whales. - Juniper
26. Valley speak has no place in a fantasy setting. Especially if you're the paladin. - Taegyra (of Sunnydale)
28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip. - Laisha
31. The backup trap handler is not whoever has the most HP at the time. - Oh yes it is!
32. I cannot buy any animal in groups of 100 or over. - Damson (or was that one of DJ's other chars?)
33. There is no such skill as 'improvised cooking' - Krunk
38. When investigating evil cultists not allowed to just torch the decrepid mansion from the outside. - Phil
50. Not allowed to use thermodynamic science to asphyxiate the orcs' cave instead of exploring it first. - Phil
55. Before facing the dragon, not allowed to glaze the elf. - Cordan
63. No, I cannot buy 10,000 marbles even if I say please. - Juniper AND Damson
73. Not allowed to name my cudgel Ceremonial Whoopass Stick. - why the heck not?
74. My thief's battle cry is not "Run And Live" - Muriel
75. Nor is it "You take care of the orcs, I take care of the traps" - Muriel
76. I am not allowed any artistic license while translating. - Liloo
81. A picture of my ex-wife is not an acceptable backup weapon. - Glib
82. Victory laps after killing the dragon with my 1d2 bow is considered in poor taste. - Gabar
84. Not allowed to talk my fellow inquisitors into buying a 220lb pull crossbow. - Nor a cart to mount it on!
86. Not allowed to make a superhero with a 99% chance of dodging even after the -10 penalty for a successful called shot. - Earl
87. There is no such thing as a dwarven katana. - Breoden
104. Nor is there a +1 Longsword, +5 against party members. - True, we mostly use bows against party members
117. I am restricted to memorizing Floating Disc only once per day. - I forget which of DJ's characters did this
122. The paladin's alignment is not Lawful Anal. - What was Brian's paladin's name?
138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it. - oh please. This rule would bring our entire campaign to a screeching halt
188. I cannot play a elf with a scottish accent, nor a cajun dwarf. - err, why not?
229. Not allowed to spontaniously check if the elf can take a punch. - Cordan
Re: tee hee
Date: 2005-08-10 01:49 pm (UTC)Re: tee hee
Date: 2005-08-10 02:28 pm (UTC)